They won’t give up their job with the long hours, their career, the McMansion, or the new cars so that one of them can stay home with the kids.

They won’t stop drinking, smoking, or gambling. They won’t stop using or selling drugs. 

They won’t give up gossiping, cursing, porn, or chat rooms.

They won’t stop signing up the kids for soccer, Scouts, dance lessons, cheerleading, horseback riding, gymnastics, basketball, football, hockey, baseball, softball. Because, they say, their kids are bored if they don’t have something to do after school and on weekends. And because they like the time away from their kids.

They won’t get up on Sunday mornings, and they won’t stay in on Saturday nights.

They won’t let go of their anger. They won’t give up old hurts, whether from their spouse or their own parents or from someone they used to love. They won’t forget words that were said and later taken back. They won’t tell their spouse, their own parents, or someone they used to love, that they’re sorry for what they said, what they did. They won’t stay calm when they’re having an argument. They won’t resist the urge to break something.

They won’t give up their mistress. They won’t give up the boyfriend their father doesn’t know about. They won’t stay in their boring marriage. They won’t be tied down. 

They won’t get on the floor and play with the kids. They won’t take them to movies the kids want to see, but they don’t. They won’t take them places the kids want to go, but they don’t.

They won’t make them go to school, or do their homework, go to teacher conferences, ask to see their kids’ report cards. They won’t put their kids’ drawings on the refrigerator. They won’t make their kids stay in school. They won’t make them graduate. They won’t save for college.

They won’t buy them that toy or the candy they want. They won’t take them trick-or-treating. They won’t let them go to the dance.

They won’t tell them not to smoke, to drink, to use or sell drugs. To have sex. 

They won’t tell them “no,” or “clean your room,” or “set the table,” or “don’t talk to your mother like that,” or “don’t call grown-ups by their first name.” 

They won’t make them go to church. They won’t spare the rod, because that spoils the child. 

They won’t get them a puppy or a kitten. They won’t make them take care of the pets the kids already have.

They won’t save the last cup of milk, the last piece of pizza, the last cookie for them. They won’t cut the crusts off the bread for them, or cut their sandwiches into triangles, or make sure their food isn’t touching. 

They won’t turn off the TV. They won’t keep on eye on what the kids watch. They won’t keep an ear on what the kids listen to. They won’t put the computer where everyone can see who’s going where.

They won’t ask who their kids’ friends are, or where they’re going, or what they’ll be doing, or what time they’ll be back. They won’t let them have sleepovers.

They won’t keep them away from relatives no one else trusts. They won’t tell them about date rape and STDs and drinking and driving. 

They won’t listen.

They won’t care.

They won’t be patient.

They won’t remember what it was like to be their age.
 

Posted November 2007